Pissing off a Midget "Vertically Challenged"

This picture might be what tom tom would look like if he was a midget. Dang man it made me laugh out loud!!!

Glad to see a post for the Advice Man. I was worried everyone had the answer. Keep themm coming guys and gals!!!!

This is extremely easy to do. Midgets are pissed all the time. How many times have you been drinking and said, "man wouldn't it be hilarious if we were all midgets right now?" I know I have. If you haven't try it during your next outing. All you really have to do is have one near you and laugh. You might be laughing at something else but they automatically assume your laughing at them. I remember one time at a Widespread concert all L.J. did was ask the girl with the midget what she was eating. This little fiery creature erupted. He was prepared to kick all our asses. The bad thing was, no one could quit laughing at the pissed of midget to take him serious. Remember though, once you piss one off you cannot make up for it. Those little hands will kick your ass before you know it. Another bad thing all they can do is kick you in your nuts. I just leave the little things alone man. I would advise you to do the same. If you don't ever take any of my advice, remember this one!!!!

Advise Man

where am I

Nothing like a news cast from Mobile Alabama!

Best movie ever

I thought I saw a leprechaun

A dream comes true for Tick

Today on cnn.com a article said that Russian President Vladimir Putin has called for all young Russian women to have at least 2 children to help with there declining birthrate and population slide. So I though of my dear friend Tick, lose Russian women and big headed babies. Russia one day will survive on Chinese food, bad jokes and see thru shirts. Now that is a country with a lot of options. It would not only increase the birthrate but probably jump start there struggling economy. Between the black market and prostitution what else could there be to do there. That is why we need to send Tick over as the impregnatortm. The movie rights are still for sale if anybody is interested with buying Russian porn scripts.

Sen. Graham and the national anthem...

You would think that a politician could come up with a better answer when faced with the question of "Can you sing the National Anthem?" Well, kudos for speaking the truth.

ABC News did a story on the issue of mandating that the National Anthem be sung in English. They decided to press the leaders on Capitol Hill by basically asking "Can you sing the entire national anthem or recite the lyrics?" A recent poll revealed that 61 percent of Americans cannot correctly recite the lyrics, much less sing them. The story discusses how some of the Congressional leaders answered (or dodged) the question. When they asked our Senator this is what was reported..... "South Carolina Republican Sen. Lindsay Graham was gentlemanly when we put him on the spot, saying, "I am like 61 percent of Americans. If I had to get up and recite the national anthem, I would fail miserably." Where is Gaston when you need him....he can 'belt' out this song with no problem.

Again 'kudos' for being honest on the issue but shouldn't he know it?

Follow up on Blaine----No Record....

To follow up on a previous post about David Blaine putting himself in a fish bowl, setting a record for living under water for 175 hours and trying to break the "hold your breath" record. Well, Mr. Blaine did not break the "hold your breath" record. This magic trick was on TV last night on ABC. The article from the AP reads, "he emerged weak and wrinkly from a week spent submerged within an 8-foot snow globe-like tank — but without a world record for holding his breath. Rescue divers jumped into the tank Monday and hauled up the stunt artist as he struggled to break the record of 8 minutes, 58 seconds. Blaine held his breath for 7:08 minutes. The challenge had taken a toll on the magician's body, including liver damage, pins and needles in his feet and hands, some loss of sensation and rashes all over his body, said Dr. Murat Gunel, who heads Blaine's medical team and is associate professor of neurosurgery at Yale University School of Medicine."

My only thoughts are this: too bad he did not set the record after so much effort and what was this guy thinking?

Things I learned during Cinco De Louie (In no chorological order)

1.) Don’t take more then 3 or Meredith’s crazy shots
2.) Go to a British pub crawl, involves to much walking and not enough drinking
3.) Give Kat red bull and Iron shots, so she can stay awake past 11
4.) Be prepared to feed Kat if she starts drinking
5.) Don’t use electric tap on a the wuffleball
6.) Don’t blackout around Boz
7.) Put sunscreen on the tops of my feet
8.) Don’t show Jamie H. your junk
9.) Make Mojito’s out of a bucket, nasty
10.) You can spend 100 bucks at a cinco de mayo 2 corona bar