Friday, September 15, 2006

Blake is free

I saw this post on and thought that it was pretty funny

The real story

Kylan is really a missionary working as an usher over at Pavlov’s Freewill Baptist Bar & Grill so he can save the soles of so many wayward young kids. On or about 1:45AM Wednesday morning, Kylan had just finished studying his Sunday School Lesson and was about to call his Mom and tell her that he was alright and the he really missed her so much. That’s when “Bad Blake” came busting through the front door. People were screaming and hiding under tables, cause they have had dealings with the infamous “Bad Blake” before. Just then a very small furry kitten came out from behind the bar, where it had been lapping up some spilled milk. Kylan, being the caring person that he is, thought that “Bad Blake was about to step on the kitten and ran over to save it. That’s when “Bad Blake” saw him and thought he was charging after him, so he swung and struck the poor defenseless Kylan in the left cheek. Kylan then started crying out for his Mommy. The pain was almost unbearable and he had someone call 911, because he thought he was going to die right there in the middle of his mission trip and he knew there were many more young soles that needed him. Of course, when the police came, they were familiar with the work that poor Kylan had been doing in this rat hole of a city, known as Columbia SC. They promised Kylan that they would make “Bad Blake” pay for what he had done and that he would never play football again and the fans would turn against him and drive him out of town.It is also rumored that worshippers in the Pavlov’s Freewill Baptist Bar & Grill overheardKylan saying that one day, he wanted to be a Superstar like “Bad Blake”. Note: I believe this story as much as I believe the one the Kylan Ertzberger is telling.


ritch said...

Greenville News Reports…..“Charges of simple assault against USC starting quarterback Blake Mitchell were dropped this morning after the prosecuting witness withdrew his warrant.

Mitchell, 21, was charged earlier this week with the misdemeanor following an incident at Pavlov's early Wednesday morning, according to a Columbia Police Department warrant and police report.

Kylan Ertzberger told police that Mitchell "initiated a verbal altercation" at the Columbia bar, according to the arrest warrant. When he turned away, Mitchell "punched (him) in the left eye with his fist," according to the warrant.

As part of the decision to withdraw the warrant, Mitchell agreed in court not to revisit the bar.”

Joey C. said...

I think his friends finally told him he was a wuss for not standing up to the pathetic excuse for a quarterback!