with a little help from a friend

I decided to help my good friend Matt, by writing a letter of recommendation for him. Since he prefers not to have a job but from time to time will need one I figured he could probably use this some time.

Dear House of Waffle,

Please hire my friend Matt aka Penny, aka Johnny Damon, aka Pickles etc. He has a lot of quality skills that will make him an excellent short order cook at your fine dinning restaurant. Granted his work experience is limited, but the jobs he has had, he has excelled at. Take for example Bartending, he once got me so drunk I passed out and threw up all over an old friend’s house. Another good example is the time he took us fishing and poor Tick got see sea sick and scared all the fish away. He has bartended at some of the nicest places in Columbia, such as the Rosters den and Capital Wings. He enjoys the smell of grease and hair nets as well as flood restrooms and long hours. If you need any other info about my friend Matt aka UGA fat chick hunter, please contact me at the 1st independent southern reformed Mormon gospel Temp agency @ 803-917-5555. Just ask for Hoot.

this just in

This just off the AP wire Tommy Bowden said that Willie Corn will be starting for Clemson by the VT game. He is so good they are pulling him from Byrnes High School like you would pull a kid from the JV team. Tommy also said that Willie will be the first 5 time Heisman trophy winner and well as Clemson could possible win 5 straight nation championships. And for shits and giggles they will take highly touted want to be Maurice Clarett Xavier Dye to play this year as well since he can’t find a home for this football season. Also in the news today, SCHFL announced that Byrnes high school will be playing Furman and Wolford next season while Willie is on his Most Over Rated Player tour across the barren ACC.

On a lighter not, today on the Matt and Tim show, they said that “Drum line is The Program of band movies”

Whatcha talkin' bout....

Doing my routine internet reading this morning at work, I ran across a ESPN article written by Mark Schlabach. It can be read here. It is discussing "5 predictions for the SEC in 2006" and I about fell out of my chair because of #5.

It reads "The SEC season will start with a bang on Thursday, Aug. 31, when Mississippi State beats South Carolina in a nationally televised game (ESPN, 8 p.m. ET), dropping Spurrier's record to 0-3 in Starkville, Miss. The Bulldogs will be another SEC team on the cusp of qualifying for a bowl game and might have to beat Alabama, coach Sylvester Croom's alma mater, in Tuscaloosa, Ala., on Nov. 4 to do it. The Gamecocks will take a big step back this season because of inexperience on defense (they might start four freshmen) and on the offensive line."

I feel strongly that this guy is wrong (border line wacko) and just trying to stir up some talk with making such a prediction. No doubt Croom will do a good job at MSU but no way his team pulls out a 'W' vs. USC.

What do you guys think about this prediction???? And note the kick-off of college football is less than one week away.....

More science stuff from a reader

In light of the recent "Pluto decision", I thought it important to bring another fact to light for the readers of LeftOverHotDog. I am sure, like me, many of you grew up knowing the world has five major oceans: the Atlantic, the Pacific, the Indian, the Artic, and the Antartic. But, did you know in 2000, the International Hydrographic Organization (IHO) voted 27-1 with 40 member nations non-responsive to change the name of the Antartic Ocean to the Southern Ocean.
While this name is commonly used among mariners, I don't think they notified the school system effectively. They changed the name to reflect then recent findings about ocean currents.
First, the Antartic, now Pluto! While we're changing the names of things, I think it appropriate to point out that both of these natural wonders are older than the institutions that decided to reclassify them.
Yours in irony, Joey C.

We were lied to....9 now 8...what is next....

In the words of Ricky Ricardo, "Lucy you got some explaining to do..." Seems all those years of learning about the solar system might have been a waste. Not really but som leading astronomers with too much time on their hands declared Thursday that Pluto is no longer a planet under historic new guidelines that downsize the solar system from nine planets to eight. That is right we lost one...

I quote..."After a tumultuous week of clashing over the essence of the cosmos, the International Astronomical Union stripped Pluto of the planetary status it has held since its discovery in 1930. The new definition of what is - and isn't - a planet fills a centuries-old black hole for scientists who have labored since Copernicus without one.
Although astronomers applauded after the vote, Jocelyn Bell Burnell - a specialist in neutron stars from Northern Ireland who oversaw the proceedings - urged those who might be "quite disappointed" to look on the bright side.
"It could be argued that we are creating an umbrella called 'planet' under which the dwarf planets exist," she said, drawing laughter (I don't get it) by waving a stuffed Pluto of Walt Disney fame beneath a real umbrella. The decision by the prestigious international group spells out the basic tests that celestial objects will have to meet before they can be considered for admission to the elite cosmic club.
For now, membership will be restricted to the eight "classical" planets in the solar system: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune."

Pluto is automatically disqualified because its oblong orbit overlaps with Neptune's. Instead, it will be reclassified in a new category of "dwarf planets," so Pluto is now a dwarf. Boy, I am glad they cleared this up forget the other issues like global warming. I will sleep better tonight!

You can read the entire article here. If bored at work like me.

Just shows be careful what you believe.......and how do you get to be a specialist in neutron stars? Rumor has it the next question the group will tackle is the question of "Where is Rishi?" Comments always welcomed....

words to live by

All right stop collaborate and listen Ice is back with my brand new invention Something grabs a hold of me tightly Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly Will it ever stop yo I don't know Turn off the lights and I'll glow To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle Dance go rush to the speaker that booms I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom Deadly when I play a dope melody Anything less than the best is a felony Love it or leave it you better gain weight You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play If there was a problem yo I'll solve it Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it Ice ice baby vanillla Now that the party is jumping With the bass kicked in and the vegas are pumpin' Quick to the point to the point no faking I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble I go crazy when I hear a cymbal And a hi-hat with a souped up tempo I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo Rollin' in my 5.0 With my rag-top down so my hair can blow The girlies on standby waving just to say hi Did you stop no I just drove by Kept on pursuing to the next stop I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block The block was dead Yo so I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine Shay with a gauge and Vanilla with a nine Reading for the chumps on the wall The chumps acting ill because they're so full of eight balls Gunshots rang out like a bell I grabbed my nine all I heard were shells Falling on the concrete real fast Jumped in my car slammed on the gas Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack Police on the scene you know what I mean They passed me up confronted all the dope fiends If there was a problem yo I'll solve it Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it Take heed 'cause I'm a lyrical poet Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it My town that created all the bass sound Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground 'Cause my style's like a chemical spill Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel Conducted and formed This is a hell of a concept We make it hype and you want to step with this Shay plays on the fade slice like a ninja Cut like a razor blade so fast other DJs say damn If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram Keep my composure when it's time to get loose Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice If there was a problem yo I'll solve it Check out the hook while Shay revolves it Ice ice baby vanilla Ice ice baby (oh-oh) vanilla Ice ice baby vanilla Ice ice baby vanilla ice Yo man let's get out of here Word to your mother Ice ice baby too cold Ice ice baby too cold too cold Ice ice baby

The times are changing

Well only 10 days till Carolina plays MSU, which is a good think, but that also means that all the kids are back in school. Not only elementary and High School, but college kids now. This morning I saw 2 wrecks on Assembly and it took me almost double the amount of time it usually takes me to get to work. Groups of lost freshman, or I think they are freshman; they could be 10 year olds from what I can tell. Kids keep getting smaller and smaller, I saw two little kids the other day at publics with two 12 packs of Killians and thought to myself, how old can they be. Well they had id and a KA sticker on the back of there Z-71. Well while watching the Little League World Series over the weekend in my free time, when Kat wasn’t working me like a _______. Well Saudi Arabia has a 6-8 13 year old playing for them. He was 6-4 last year when Saudi Arabia made the LLWS, so in a year he has packed on about 40 lbs and 4 inches. Think how big he is going to be when he is able to play college athletics. That is why I wrote a letter to Dave Odom this morning while pretending to work.

Dear Coach Dave

Please sign the giant 13 year old from Saudi Arabia, who cares if he can’t play basketball, he is only 13 and as tall as every play you have recruited here at Carolina. Granted we have not had too much success with big men, but if Ronaldo can get drafted this kid has a chance.

Sincerely

Louis