A Salute...

Real Men of Genius

Today Budweiser salutes you - Mr. Gamecock Football Player Arrest Fixer Guy!

So busy, so busy all of the time. Every month you're back, back like "cooked crack."

Your undying efforts keep shady Gamecock football players out of the Pokey, and in Five Points after midnight where they belong.

Sucker punch that bouncer and run, you skinny hillbilly lookin boy.

Waston, Newton, Pinkins, Thompson, Watson, Telfort, Turman, Mitchell, Watson, and Watson all needed your help.

Ooohhh, just to name a few. And you're not through.

Whether it's another DUI, smoking marijuana, stolen laptops, hurting young women, or fights in Five Points with bouncers or the Student Body President.

Smack! Yeah b!tch, that's how we get down, how we get down.

Without you, Syvelle Newton would be in jail and couldn't start for Mitchell, now that he's been arrested. And you even got those charges dropped already - wow.

Ouch! Hot potatoes; drop them fast, drop them fast!

You get what you need by pressuring folks effectively - behind the scenes.

Ooohh. No one really knows what you do, but Cock lovers all thank you.

That's why we salute you, Mr. Gamecock Football Player Arrest Fixer Guy!